Review: Secret Key Snow White Milky Pack

"First of all, I would like to thank to all online shops and beauty bloggers around the world for posioning me to buy this product."

***

I'm not very fond of cometics with whitening effect. But it's Secret Key, and it's Niacinamide. So, I guess I'll give it a shot. Here's my review after using this for a month. If you're wondering what niacinamide is, you can hit you button here or simply google it. It's everywhere on the internet.

The design of the bottle is very simple yet pretty. For your information, the bottle size is almost as big as a baby powder bottle.

As written on the packaging:

Just apply and wash out, and Whitening Pack will brighten your complexion. Its quick absorption will not make it rub off on clothes, and it's smooth texture will make application very easy. Whitening agent niacinamide will multiply the whitening effects. It will provide moisture to keep skin soft and revlieve irritated skin. Your skin will look most natural and brilliant, making you look more beautiful. Your skin will look and feel brighter with continued use.

The ingredients:

Titanium dioxide, sodium hyaluronic acid, niacinamide, sorbitan rate, Ceresin, methylparaben, purified water, spices, cyclopentasiloxane cyclohexanone siloxane, dimethicone, cyclopentasiloxane, butylene glycol, not chilpi / p Fiji -10 /dimethicone cross 1 dimethicone, penta-cycle Annals Sandi the Chicon vinyl menu polymer, di-methyl siloxane.

(source)

The cap! It's flip-cap! Yeay!

***

HOW TO APPLY

So I took a small amount of the cream and applied it on my hand. The cream is indeed a white sticky one with a soft floral fragarance. Floral is the only word that came to my mind to describe its smell because I really have no idea what kind of smell it was. But it's good, not weird.

Just a small amount of the cream was enough to cover half part of my hand.

Blend it with a massaging motion. Leave it for a few minutes. I left it for about 10 minutes. Btw, do you notice that my skin tone changed a bit?

After several minutes, wash it with luke warm water (should be), but I just rinse it with tap water. Do not rub it, just wash it lightly then dry it out with towel. Ewww, my skin tone in this picture kinda freak me out, honestly. It's soooo, white >_<

Can you see the difference between my hands above? Well, those aren't exactly before-after picture. I use both of my right and left hands to compare the whitening result. The result claimed can last up to 8 hours, although it really depends on your skin condition. The more oily, the lesser it'll last

***

I tried to apply this on my face as moisturizer before I apply my whole makeup on,  and luckily no purging effect whatsoever. But the instant white result freaks me out. Niacinamide agent is an ingredients used by many dermathologists, but I still doubt its safety for a long term period. Afterall, the whitening effect is a bit pale, in my opinion. Not that healthy natural white glow like I got when using Mustika Ratu Bangkoang Mask.

Maybe this product is usefull, for example, after I got that sunburn after swimming, or when my face looked terribly dull on my monthly period, or when I catch a cold, etc. In short, I will only use this when it's really necessary but not on a daily basis.

***

Summary:

• Instant white result
• Not a healthy white glow result
• Moistening your skin
• Floral fragrance
• Niacinamide contained
• Can last up to 8 hours, depends on your skin condition
• How much: I forgot, but the range is about IDR 200K for 200g contain

Review: Wet n Wild Mega Last Lipstick (Mauve Outta Here & Bare It All)

Frist of all, I would like to appologize for giving you a review about poducts which aren't look photogenic anymore. I bought these Wet n Wild lipsticks many many weeks ago but always forget to write about this. I'd like to say that I do like these products sooo much.

I actually reviewed about lipstick from this series some time ago. Check it out here. You'll find a much tidier version of these since it was still brand new. I'm not gonna talk too much about the packaging since I already wrote it on the link above, so feel free to hit that mouse button to find out more about the packaging.

The shades I'll talk about are Mauve Outta Here and Bare It All

The bullet color retracted to the max. Since the first time buying these, the rounded tip always bug me since it's quite tricky to draw a price line on your lips.

Swatches on my hand in both lighting.

BARE IT ALL

This is, maybe, what you call, a nude brown shade with a hint of white. On the bullet I thought the color would turn pale, but when I wear it, apparently it was a pretty kind of pale. This one suits my skin tone well, and can brighten up my face even if it's pale. A very safe colo for any occassion.

MAUVE OUTTA HERE

Honestly, I have a love-hate-love-hate relationship with this. The texture and finishing is great but I'm not very fond of the shade. Mauve has always been my favorite lipstick shade, but on me, this one changed into a light pinkish purple. My mistake when searching swatches of this color was opening beauty blogs by western bloggers, you know how different their skin tone and bare lips color than mine. But, I couldn't find local beauty bloggers who have reviewed this item. And moreover, this one stains your lips, a lot.

***

Ombre lips I created a few days ago. Products I used:

Revlon Colorstay Lipliner in Nude

Wet n Wild Mega Last Lipstick in Bare It All

NYX JEP in Milk

***

In short, Mega Last Lipstick is a good product for me. Smooth glide, pigmented color, and they even able to cover the darkness around your lips area since the texture is very opaque. Once you apply it, it leaves a satin finishing on your lips, not very dry looking like matte lipstick, but not to buttery like most creamy lipsticks. There are 26 color variants, if I'm not mistaken, and the variety is great, but only in safe colors. Please don't think about green lipstick. :D The Mauve is the only thing I regret. I think I'll hunt for the shade Pinkerbell. I heard it's a dupe of Lime Crime Geradium. *Wink!*

***

Verdicts:

• Opaque color
• Doesn't dry my lips
• A little goes a long the way
• Mauve Outta Here stains your lips once you wipe it
• Long lasting the whole day but with taking a meal they faded just a bit
• Satin finishing
• Can cover your lips darkness
• How much: IDR 79K on their official counters, but available on many online shops with much cheaper price. I bought these not more than IDR 50K.
• Available in: many drugstores or supermarkets, or even online shops. 

Happy hunting!

Review: Sugarpill Pressed Eyeshadow (Love+)

Have you ever stood, as a 10 year old girl, in front of a shop window staring eagerly at the latest issue of your favorite Manga. Cold hands, heart beating fast, but you could do nothing since you had no money. You only had that IDR 50, enough to buy gorengan and es mambo. And the Manga would cost IDR 3,000. I wasn't poor, but born a tight budget family.

Well, more or less, the same thing happened to me when I saw this eyeshadow. And since I'm a grown up now, money wasn't the issue, but the goods availability. It is so hard to find this indie brand in Indonesia, you only can buy this through online shop, pre-order. 

So when I saw this on sale in Facebook, I immediately bought it. It is used item, but I don't mind. It's still like new anyway. And when the package arrived, the same blood-rushing experience happened again. LOLs.

Cute packaging, huh? The box somehow reminds me of matchbox. The clear cap makes it easier to look through the pan and find the color you want IF you have more than one.

The ingredients.

It contains 3.5g product. Not as petite as it looks.

The packaging somehow reminds me of MUA single eyeshadow. But the black part of the packaging felt smooth and velvety on your finger tip. It may look cheap, but once you touch it, you know it's not.

Rubbed my fingers on the pan and got this pigmented red mark on my middle finger. Sorry, I used my middle finger, it was a coincidence. The pan somehow felt HARD, but not powdery nor buttery. And it's matte. But, somehow, I need a lot of rubbing to achieve one solid color swatch.

The color looked a bit different due to the usage of primer. With primer, the color changed into a pure red shade, but without primer, it looked a bit orange.

1. Run with tap water and swipe once with a cotton pad. It faded a bit but the one with primer wasn't faded out even a little.
2. Swiped once with Makeup Remover. Loreal Eye & Lip Makeup Remover really is a great product. :D 

This picture is just a comparison of color amongst my red eyeshadow collection:

1. Sugarpill (Love+)
2. Ellianto
3. Coastal Scents (120 Ori Pallet 1)
4. Inez Sparkling Loose Eyeshadow (Glamorous Red)
5. Viva Cream Eyeshadow (Red)

I was a bit surprised, when swatching the color without primer, Viva Cream Eyeshadow is a pretty good dupe for Sugarpill. LMFAO.

One thing I'm a bit confused until now, is the reason why I wanted a red eyeshadow so bad due to the fact that I only wear eyeshadow occassionaly. 

***

My EOTD using only this eyeshadow. Love the pigmented color but I made a mistake by using a white tone eyeshadow base (NYX eyeshadow base in Matte White) so the shade somehow changed into a bright sultry pink instead of a true red. Next time, I'll use my skin tone eyeshadow base. Or, maybe, because I use the white cream too much? IDK. I still need more practice.

My take:

• Very pigmented color, especially with eye primer
• Hard texture
• Unusually bright tone and intimidating for some people
• Petite packaging but generous content (3.5g)
• Long lasting
• Vegan cosmetic
• Easy to remove (I use Loreal Eye & Lip Makeup Remover), I don't know if you use other remover, though. But using Loreal, I only need one cotton pad to remove the whole two eyes makeup.
• How much: USD 12 on its official website. But also available in several online shops with price variety. But since it's preloved, this cost me IDR 95K only.

Score:

4.877 out of 5

And, yes, I'll buy this again someday. But I will try some other color.

Review: Sariayu Lip Eye Kit "Senandung Rimba Sumatra"

Yeaaah, baby!

Review lagi, balik lagi ke Sariayu. Jangan bosen dong, plis. Kalo suka warnain muka, dijamin rugi nggak nyobain merk yang satu ini. Decorative line-nya banyak banget dengan seri warna dan kemasan yang khas banget Indonesia, plus kualitas yang cukup bersaing. Bener, ini bukan post hasil sponsor, jadi murni pendapat aku.

Aku kepincut sama Lip Eye Kit ini waktu ada event-nya Sariayu di mall Kota Kasablanka. Harganya lupa, tapi waktu itu (kayaknya) aku beli cuma IDR 100K plus udah dapet free Duo Lip Function. Di web-nya sendiri dibandrol sekitar IDR 120K. Buatku segitu murmer lah buat produk yang ada lipstik dan esedo sekaligus, plus kemasan yang simple dan nggak keliatan murahan.

Oke, before kita move on, mau warning kamu aja, bahasanku kali ini agak panjang dari biasanya.

Kemasannya panjang dan agak ramping. Dikemas dalam kotak bergambar trademark-nya pulau Sumatra. Sekilas mengingatkan akan kemasan coklat. Nyam... Paletnya itu terbuat dari plastik warna putih patah (broken white, maksudnya...), terus ada logo Sariayu dari tinta emas di bagian depannya. Oh, iya, tuh tuh tuh keliatan gak ada logo Halal-nya di kotak?

Rada surprise juga sih pas tutupnya dibuka karena kupikir eyeshadow-nya kecil, ga taunya lemayan besar juga. Soalnya lubang intipnya kecil sih. XD

Jenis warnanya dari kiri ke kanan:

Coklat tua keemasan

Krem/kuning keemasan

Biru laut

Pink dangdut

Merah hati (kalo di swatch sekilas kayak coklat yang tuaaaa banget)

Berhubung ngga ada nama-nama warnanya, aku bikin brand namanya sesuka hatiku yaaa. Yang aku heran, kok yaaa ada warna merah hati nongol di situ karena buatku warna ini termasuk jarang dipake orang sini. Mungkin karena inspirasinya hutan Sumatra ya, ngambil elemen warna dari Rafflesia Arnoldii? Hahaha, entahlah. Mungkin lebih masuk kalo ada warna hijau deh kayaknya.

Geserlah palet bagian atasnya ke samping kanan, dan kamu akan menemukan harta karun palet lipstik di bawahnya, plus cermin super mini dan double ended applicator. Satu ujungnya kuas lipstik, ujung satu lagi sponge buat aplikator esedonya. Dan seperti applicator bawaan pada umumnya, yang ini juga emang seadanya banget. Yang penting ada, gitu. Kek mana pula mau apply esedo pake sponge? Trus kuas lipstiknya letoy banget, ngolesin lipstik prosesnya jadi lamaaaa banget.

Duh, maap nih komposisinya kurang jelas. Ini udah terjelas yang bisa kefoto.

***

EYESHADOW

Pertama-tama mari kita bahas warna eyeshadow-nya dulu.

Untuk hasil pigmentasinya so-so lah, menurutku. Yang paling nyata adalah warna biru dan pink-nya. Surprisngly, si merah hati ini ga terlalu pigmented. Tapi sekalinya pake eye primer, wooow, jadi nyata banget. Di sini aku pake eye primer-nya Etude House. Tapi kalo aku bandingin hasil review dari beauty blogger lain, ada yang bilang pigmentasinya bagus banget. Mungkin standar pigmented itu beda-beda ya tiap orang. Hehehe. Yang jelas waktu aku swatch warna di tangan, aku gak menggunakan tenaga banyak, cuma disiwir-siwir aja (apa ya bahasa endonesia siwir-siwir?). Mungkin kalo aplikatornya kamu tekan dengan tenaga badak, bisa jauh lebih pigmented.

Buat yang mau tau finishing-nya seperti apa, ya kayak gini. Tipikal esedo khas Indonesia banget: Shimmer. Duh, kenapa bukan matte sih. Semuanya shimmer, ga ada yang matte.

Yang ini beberapa hasil EOTD menggunakan warna esedo hanya dari palet ini. Maaf tidak ada pictorialnya. :(

Bisa kamu lihat kan hasilnya di mataku itu bling-bling sekaleeeh.

1. Untuk look yang pertama aku menggunakan paduan warna pink, biru dan merah hati. Apply biru di kelopak mata atas, lalu apply merah hatinya di outter V dan di lipatan kelopak mata. Baurkan warna merah hati tadi dengan warna pink ke arah tulang alis. Jangan lupa apply biru lagi di bagian bawah mata. Apply eyeliner dengan gaya winged. Apply falsies.
2. Untuk yang kedua aku pake warna krem dan coklat tua. Yang ini gampang banget. Cuma apply coklat tua di outter V dan lipatan mata. Apply warna krem di kelopak atas. Baurkan. Bubuhkan warna krem tadi di bagian dalam mata bawah. Lalu buat eyeliner dengan gaya gyaru atau puppy eyes. Apply bulu mata palsu.

Pendapatku soal eyeshadow-nya sih lumayan lah. Soal pigmentasi bisa diatur dengan menggunakan eye primer, begitu juga dengan daya tahan. Kalo kamu sentuh esedonya pake jari, rasanya halus dan lembut banget, nggak berbubuk kayak esedo Viva (yaeaaalah, harga juga jauh kale!). Warna-warnanya juga sepertinya diatur sesuai untuk semua warna kulit, ga terlalu muda atau terlalu jreng sekali. Walaupun yang aneh yaaa si merah hatinya, seperti yang aku bilang. Kenapa bukan hijau tua, misalnya. Kan orang Indonesia rata-rata paling seneng make esedo warna kecoklatan atau kehijauan. Dan finishing-nya itu mestinya jangan shimmer semua, ada yang matte-nya juga. Tapi namanya juga produk lama. Aku liat sih esedo Sariayu sekarang udah lebih bervariasi.

Ponten buat esedonya:

8.36 out of 10

***

LIPSTICKS

To be honest, I've never had any lipstick pallet before.

My bare lips.

***

Ini swatch di bibirku sesuai urutan yang ada di palet. Sedikit catatan ya, semua hasil swatch ini aku poles menggunakan kuas bibir bawaan dari paletnya, gak pake lipliner, ataupun lip conditioner. Tiap pergantian warna, aku bersihkan bibirku dengan Makeup Remover sebersih-bersihnya sampe nggak ada stain lipstick yang tersisa. Hal yang sama aku lakukan dengan kuas lipstiknya. Jadi hasilnya murni warna lipstik aslinya di bibirku. Nggak tau hasilnya seperti apa di bibirmu :)

No. 1

Left: Indoor with camera flash

Right: Outdoor

Di palet kan warnanya kayak mauve gelap gitu ya, tapi pas di swatch ke bibir jadinya nude pink atau dusty pink. Aman banget buat sehari-hari. My favorite nude lip color. Teksturnya creamy. Bagus buat yg berkulit terang.

***

No. 2

Left: Indoor with camera flash

Right: Outdoor

Warna koral dengan undertone coklat. Cocok buat yg berkulit sawo matang.

***

No. 3

Left: Indoor with camera flash

Right: Outdoor

Merah cabe! What else can I say? Semua warna kulit masuk nih.

***

No. 4

Left: Indoor with camera flash

Right: Outdoor

A sweet pink, dengan yellow undertone. Bagus buat kulit terang. Sebenernya sih warna ini rada pucat juga di aku, kayaknya harus dicampur warna lain biar bagus.

***

No. 5

Left: Indoor with camera flash

Right: Outdoor

Fuschia. Bagus ya. Cocok buat semua warna kulit. I like this, tapi warna gini bikin gigi yang kuning tambah keliatan kuning. Yang ini akan meninggalkan bekas di bibirmu setelah di lap.

***

Lipstiknya semua satin finishing. Maap ye, kagak tau bahasa endonesa 'satin finishing'. Kalo mau aku deskripsikan, itu adalah hasil yang nggak matte tapi nggak creamy banget. Aroma lipstiknya samar banget, gak kayak seri Moispome lipstik yang khas banget bau bubble gum. Aman deh buat kamu yang nggak suka lipstik wangi. Kalo soal tahan apa ngga-nya, paling di aku 3-4 jam udah bubar. Apalagi yang warnanya muda seperti No. 1 dan No. 4. Staying powernya lebih pendek dari yang warna bold. Sayang banget kuas lipstiknya abal-abal.

My take untuk lipstiknya gini nih:

• Satin finishing
• Creamy texture
• Warna yang pas untuk semua warna kulit orang Indonesia
• Aroma samar banget
• Daya tahan warna bold lebih lama dibanding yang warna muda
• Tapi yang bold akan meninggalkan noda di bibir setelah dihapus
• Di aku formulanya gak bikin kering bibir
• Tidak bisa menutupi warna hitam bibir

Ponten untuk lipstiknya:

7.32 out of 10

***

Intermezzo dikit.

Kebayang ga sih kamu, dalam keadaan kayak gini. Sepupu kesayanganmu merit, dia tinggal di pelosok dusun Taba Teret di pulau Sumatra (misalnya). Kamu tinggal di Jakarta. Harus mudik dong! Terus kamu disuruh jadi among tamu. Daaaan karena itu di pelosok, harus dandan sendiri-sendiri, gak pake MUA. Trus karena satu-satunya yang pinter dandan cuma kamu, jadi kamu didaulat sama para tante dan sepupumu yang laen buat dandanin mereka. Plus juga buat dandanin mukamu sendiri. Nah, dengan punya piranti makeup praktis ini bisa banget mempermudah hidupmu di saat kepepet seperti itu. Ngomong-ngomong, itu bukan kisah nyata ya. Hahahaha...! 

Review: Revlon Colorstay Creme Gel Eye Liner (02/Brown)

Dipbrow Pomade by Anastasia Beverly Hills is one of my wishlist items, but the price is just above my range. Spending that much money on one beauty item is a big no no for me because I am not a MUA, but if I were, I'm buying it definetely. So, anyway, after reading some poisonous articles (LOLs) on several beauty blogs, I found out that you can use brown gel liner as a substitute for an eyebrow drawer.

And after, again, reading, some beauty blogs, Silky Girl gel liner is one of the most recommended with reasonable price, but I couldn't find any shade other than black, and I was too lazy walking around the shopping mall looking for just one item. So, when the BA in the Watsons drugstore offered me gel liners from Maybelline and Revlon, I chose the last one. Firstly, because it's a bit cheaper, and secondly, it is equipped with a built-in applicator which makes it more practical.

***

PACKAGING

The cap is made of plastic, but the pot is glass although it doesn't look vulnerable. This product is actually very tiny. Btw, you will find the applicator by flipping the cap and click it. I like this kind of built-in applicator. Separated ones are too much of a hassle, especially if I have to bring the product with me.

Somehow, bentuknya mengingatkan akan esedo bubuknya Inez. Siapa yang punya jugaaaa? Cek review nya di sini kalo penasaran.

The ingredients:

My shade is Brown or 002. Available also in black, grey, and plum.

See the nett weight? It's only 2.3 g. Well, actually tiny products has their own advantage. At least I don't have to keep this too long in my drawer until it run out, so that I can keep on buying new ones. Agree?

The applicator in detail. It's actually equipped with a guard which I threw away already. Ribet. This applicator is very smooth and pretty thin. But you have to keep it clean from the product residue and always to click it back to the bottle. Or else, it will be stiff and hurt your eyelids the next time you apply it.

***

SWATCHES

I expected the formula will be matte, turned out it has glitters, but not too much. Only visible if you look at it very closely. But the shade is a pretty dark brown shade. The opacity, I must say, is a medium one. You really have to swipe more than once to get an opaque result, doesn't go along the way.

Swatch di tanganku... Ternyata ada glitternya booo, keliatan ga? Kirain matte. Gini nih kalo beli Revlon di apotik, BA nya bukan dari Revlon jadi dia kurang tau detil produknya gimana. Beda kalo beli di konter langsung.

These are the result on my eyes. Applying this product using the applicator is actually very easy. I can draw a thin line on my eyebrow. But the formula is very smooth and I doubt it will stay like that 24 hours like it promised

***

These are when freshly applied:

Applied on my eyebrows as eyeliners.

If you smudge it using the applicator or simply your finger tip, you can make a simple brown smokey eyes like this. They don't appear to be too intimidating, do they?

***

I prone to oily lids and my skin type is normal oily, and by the 4th hour, the color faded a bit and smudged to my eyebags like usually happened to most of my eyeliners. Since the color is brown, the smudge effect wasn't as obvious as when you wear a black liner, but it's still a problem especially when I wore soft lenses. On the eyebrows, on the contrary, this liner stayed pretty well until the end of the day. Well, they faded a bit, but juuust a slightest bit. Maybe because my skin condition on the eyebrows area isn't as greasy as my eyelids. Please note, that I didn't wear any eye primer/base underneath it, just to see how this product perform on its own. Maybe if you apply eye base first, the result will be different.

The glitter effect, somehow, is pretty obvious. Well, this might be disturbing for those of you who prefer natural and matte result. I saw my eyes and eyebrows looked a bit shimmering under the lamp light and some of the glitter residue will remain on your face after you wipe it with a makeup remover. LOLs. But, I'm the type of person who likes to wear red eyeliners and purple lipstick... Sooo, I don't really mind with that.

The texture itself, since it's not very opaque, is very buildable especially for beginners. The user friendly applicator also makes it easier for you to draw a thin line. It is very creamy textured as well, compared to my Etude House Gel Liner, it is even creamier and less pigmented. 

Overall opinion, this product really does fulfill its promise to "stay" on my eyebrows and eyelids the whole day, although the number "24" is a bit exagerrated, since it didn't really stayed that long, but at least it does a pretty god job defining my eyes (and eyebrows as well) for more than 8 hours (with fading effect, of course). 

That's all my opinion this. Please note that different shade delivers different result, as well as your own skin condition/type.

My take for this shade:

• Dark brown shade
• It has glitters but not too much
• Doesn't go along the way, but this also makes this product very buildable, esp. for beginners
• Easy to apply cream
• Good applicator
• Very tiny (2.3g)
• Waterproof? Yes
• Smudgeproof? Not really, on my oily lids. Maybe this will be different on those who don't prone to oily lids.
• Price: IDR 90K something (USD 8-9)

The Hijab Story

Assalamu'alaikum

Aku mau curhat...

Bisa dibilang ya, aku itu kayak ondel-ondel kalo pake baju. Warna-warni gak ketulungan. Atasannya pink dangdut, celananya toska ngejreng. Belom lagi jilbabnya juga matching sama celana: toska. Suka juga nabrak baju biru elektrik motif polkadot, sama kulot warna kuning, jilbabnya? Biru metalik. My ex-boss yang benci banget warna kuning, kayaknya sering banget mo muntah tiap ngeliat gaya berpakaianku. Belom sepatunya. Malah rok panjang dipadu sama sepatu Converse oranye. Norak banget lah. Awalnya aku penggemar hitam. Dari dulu demen banget warna hitam, sampe perpisahan SD aja bela-belain make kebaya hitam meski diprotes Ibu. Kalo Nyai beliin bando buat cucu-cucunya, yang lain dibeliin warna permen, aku doang yang dikasih warna item. Sampe Ibu gemes, pas SMA aku sering dibeliin baju warna-warni, dan bakal diomelin kalo milih baju item lagi. Apalagi kuliah, pas bisa pake baju bebas. Tambah nggilani. Nggak tiap hari sih pake item, tapi bajuku dominan item, sampe blus, celana jins, sepatu, kutek, gelang, cincin, kalung, lipstik (kalo dugem doang), black lover, sampe minuman favorit juga warnanya item (kopi, heheheh).

The turning point-nya waktu taon 2007, pas awal pake jilbab. Selera berpakaianku berubah 180 derajat. Karena mikirnya, kalo jilbaban pake item-item ntar disangka teroris. Kalo pas naek bis trus disuruh turun gimana? Kalo mau masuk mall tapi gak dibolehin sama satpam gimana? Kalo mau ke cafe tapi ntar dikeroyok? Yah udah lah, gitu deh pokoknya. Langsung semua jenis warna, terutama pink dan ungu, memenuhi lemari baju. Sampe akhirnya aku menjelma jadi ibu-ibu gendut yang bajunya mirip ondel-ondel, kayak sekarang -___-

Sebenernya pas awal aku jilbaban itu kelakuanku masih nyeleneh. Solat masih belang bonteng, ngerokok juga rajin, ngomong Assalamu'alaikum aja masih jarang. Tapi dulu guru agamaku waktu SMP bilang, hal yang dosa itu enak banget kalo mau dikerjain, jadi kalo mau berbuat baik, harus DIPAKSAIN, kalo ngga, ntar kaga bakalan jadi orang bener.

Yah udah deh, taon 2007 itu pas banget umur 26, aku pake jilbab. Pulang kantor pas hari Jumat masih dengan potongan rambut bob nungging warna tembaga plus poni rata melengkung (poni-ku ini trademark banget dulu). Hari Sabtu jalan ama cowokku, masiiiih gaya begitu. Hari Minggu-nya aku ke pasar, beli jilbab 5 biji. Trus Senin-nya, dan Alhamdulillah sampe sekarang, aku pake jilbab deh. Alhamdulillah juga nggak dilepas-lepas.

Kenapa tiba-tiba memutuskan begitu? Enaaak aja tiba-tiba. Kaga! Aku udah pengen begitu dari umur 14 taun! Tapi kan masih ababil. Lagi pengen bener, eeeeh pacaran. Putus, bener lagi, eeeh dapet pacar lagi. Daaaan begitu seterusnya, berulang-ulang. Bukannya mo sok laku ya. Tapi punya pacar jaman ABG itu emang bener-bener merusak akhlak. Suerrr! Pas akhirnya aku genap umur 26, aku mikir gini: umurku udah lebih looh dari seperempat abad (Iya! 25 tahun itu seperempat abad, ladies!) aku buandel banget tapi cengeng. Tiap kesandung masalah, pengennya mati cepet aja. Tapi nggak loh, Allah masih mengijinkan aku hidup sampe sekarang.

Dengan berbekal kelakuan nyeleneh dan sering di cap 'aneh' sama temen-temenku, nggak sedikit yang sinis sampe ada yang sarkas banget ngomongnya. Salah potong rambut ya? Sampe kapan jilbabnya dipake? Elo kenape, Sy? Kesambet ye? Mank lu udeh mo kawin ye? And so on, and so on.... males ingetnya. Trus ngeliat kelakuan yang masih suka bocor, banyak yang bilang juga: "elo tuh udah pake jilbab, maaan! Insap dah!" Yeeee, kaga ada hubungannya. Pake jilbab itu kewajiban, sisters! Wajib! Sama hukumnya dengan sholat, puasa, mentaati rang tua, patuh sama suami. Kalo nggak dikerjain, dosa tauuuu. Btw, emang mesti ya jilbaban trus kelakuan jadi anggun?

Aku pernah baca sebuah tulisan yang menekankan bahwa seorang wanita muslim kalo udah pake jilbab, itu sama aja dengan menjadi biarawati. (maaf, nggak bermaksud mendiskreditkan agama apapun ya). Tapi menurutku itu salah kaprah. Aku nggak begitu faham, menjadi biarawati itu seperti apa, hukumnya gimana. Tapi setau aku, menjadi biarawati itu pilihan kan? (bener ga, dear non muslim friends?), tapi tidak dengan jilbab. Itu bukan pilihan. Seperti yang aku bilang tadi, tiap detik kamu menuai dosa. Tiap ada orang yang liat rambut atau auratmu, tiap detik itu juga kamu nabung dosa. Hahaha, serem ya. Nggak apa-apa kok kalo kamu merasa takut, wajar, kan takutnya sama Allah.

So, nggak bener juga kalo kamu pake jilbab harus nunggu sampe kelakuan bener dulu. Itu pemikiran yang salah. Aku pernah liat ada, maaf, wanita penjaja seks yang pake jilbab di jalan. Kalo ada yang bilang, percuma dia pake jilbab, pecun kok jilbab-an. Yeee biarin aja, pekerjaan dia emang kotor, tapi lebih dosa lagi kalo jilbabnya dilepas. Bener ga analogi-ku? (Ini terlepas dari apa niatnya berjilbab ya, Wallahu alam). Tapi bukan berarti aku bilang bahwa kamu berjilbab, lantas kelakuan juga nggak dibenerin ya. Hahahah. Nggak begitu! Tutupin auratmu, sambil benerin juga sikap dan ibadahmu.

Ada yang takut diputusin ama cowoknya kalo jilbaban? Syukur Alhamdulillah kalo diputusin, berarti tuh cowok kaga niat serius pacaran ama kita, nggak niat melaju ke pelaminan Hehehe. Atau ada yang takut susah dapet kerja? Syukur alhamdulillah juga, berarti itu perusahaan emang ada tendensi untuk mendiskreditkan karyawan berdasarkan agamanya, bagus lu ditolak dari awal, daripada udah kerja tapi di-discriminate ntar? Jangan takut lah, rejeki nggak ke mana kok! (Sampe sekarang nggak ngerti sama perusahaan yang melarang karyawatinya berjilbab).

Jadiii buat temen-temen yang suka liat perempuan pake jilbab tapi masih suka heran dengan kelakuannya yang menurutmu ngga sesuai dengan 'jilbab'nya itu, jangan buru-buru menghakimi mereka ya. Siapa tau, mereka itu seperti aku. Yang pengen nutup aurat, tapi masih 'berjuang' menjadi orang yang baik, dimata manusia dan di mata Allah tentunya. Dan buat yang belum terketuk hatinya untuk menutup aurat, tunggu apa lagi. Kita nggak tau sampe umur berapa kita hidup.

Itu aja curhatnya. Kalo ada kata-kata yang kasar, omelin aja aku ya, asal yang baik ngomelnya, jangan marah-marah. (apa sih?). Semoga curhatku kali ini bisa membawa manfaat. Aamiin.

Wassalam.

P.s. Boleh diabaikan foto-foto aku yang tidak sesuai konteks itu ya. Itu hasil eksperimen muka aja, yang sayang kalo ngga di simpen di blog. Hehehehe...